The Bad Boyfriend/Girlfriend Job
Have you ever had a job you loved, but that just ripped you up? Or one where you loved the work, but the job was one draining, dramatic crisis after another?
Been there. Done that.
In my case, I’d get so wound up during the day that I had to do something physical before I got home, just to work off the tension. I was angry a lot. I drank too much. My sleep suffered. And, as you can imagine, so did my relationships.
But I figured that I could effort my way through it. It was like it was my fault.
Late last month, Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” was on the Charlie Rose show talking about her career. She talked about a previous job that sounded a lot like my experience.
Mike described that job as “the bad boyfriend.” I thought, “What a perfect description!” The “Bad Boyfriend” or “Bad Girlfriend” job has three characteristics.
The tension and the problems never let up. There’s almost never a day that you go to work and come out unscathed.
There’s something about it that you really love. It might be the work. It might be the team you work with. It might be the schedule. It might be anything.
That something you love is seductive. So you decide that you can make it work, even though it’s never worked for long and even though you know, deep in your heart, that it never will.
Your decision to take all the responsibility on yourself is what makes a Bad Boyfriend/Girlfriend job. And it’s where salvation lies.
Because your choice makes the job a Bad Boyfriend/Girlfriend, you have it in your power to change things. But the only way to do that is to walk away.
Do not make “one more” try to make things work. Leave.